you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I have post one night stand depression
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
