You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
