I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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