i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
