I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
