Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
