so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
