He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
