so that wasnt chicken after all
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
