If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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