someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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