wakey wakey hands off snakey
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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