Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
