You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
