well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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