Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I am available for nakedness
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