Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize