the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
