I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
