What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
