I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
