You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
soo... how was my night?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
