WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
