the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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