After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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