so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
