Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
