he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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