We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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