By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
