I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize