drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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