I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
