Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
