He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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