dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
