try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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