just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
