lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
