Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
