I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
