It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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