OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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