Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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