Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He better not be in your backpack
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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