I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
