You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How does one acquire holy water?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
