Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
how drunk are you?
Several
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
