I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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