Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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