i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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