He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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