The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
