He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
