look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
