I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
