watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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