just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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