Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
